Lover of My Soul

The best time I've had this weekend was a dance party at midnight with 20 other young ladies.  Truly lovely.  

Not that I actually danced.  But watching and listening to the pounding beats and giggling girls was like balm to a broken soul.  

Not broken in a tortured sort of way...but lately my heart has been so heavy.  Heavy with the weight of the world.  The hopelessness, brokenness, sinfulness of life can leave a soul feeling empty, bereft of comfort.  Lacking strength. Left adrift, wandering aimlessly.  

Unless we know Jesus, of course.  

I now understand that this should be the condition of my heart - broken -  not "bricked" up by a wall of safety.  One that keeps me protected and "seemingly" safe on the inside.  That kind of hard heart also keeps me from knowing the joy, peace, and comfort that only my Savior can give.  In order to love others, my heart must be broken.  Soft.  Open.  His love is poured in.  Out of the overflow, I offer it to others.

My heart is the broken vessel, the cracked clay pot if you will,  that God wants me to leave at His feet as an offering.  He fills it up and the light that shines throughout is His light, His love, pouring out of me.  In this, it is thus redeemed, made usable, given value.  

He is amazing.  And so worthy.  My Savior and Healer.  The One who is preparing my heart and soul for bigger things yet to come.  He is my strength and my comfort.

Lover of my (wounded) soul.

Window Space

Husband has given me some precious moments to myself.  He has offered to take the little ones to school.

It's quiet.  Outside the window, the leaves fall silently.  I watch them flutter past.  I don't see where they come from, I don't see where they land.  Not today anyway.  I know the tree they have left, and I do know their landing place.  It just isn't within my line of vision for this moment.  All I have is the space of a window.

I miss him.
Too many things left unsaid.
So many things I wanted to say...but didn't.
I love him.
This man-child who must make his way.

I know where he comes from.
Do I know where he will land?

For now, all I have is the space of a window.

The Goodness of Life and Just How Short It Is

Many thoughts to ponder.

Life has been up and down these past many weeks.  But God is amazing and as strong as ever.

What causes our melancholy do you suppose?  It makes for a time of reflection.  Looking back, taking stock, moving forward.  A reevaluation of goals and purpose.  Returning to the Standard for our living.

He gives joy.  Such joy.

Many of my days have had heartache in them but it's the good kind.  The heartache that is part of transition.

And the joy is ever-increasing.

God comes through, makes Himself known and so evident in our lives - even in the tiniest of things.  In the things we think may not matter at all.

How do you capture the moment of all that is happening around you?  What words do you say to describe something that can't be defined?

The goodness juxtaposed against the pain.

This IS how life is lived.  Knowing more of God makes you more aware of the trouble that is of this world.  And shutting it out is not an option.  So many things in life that pull on our hearts, making them heavy.  But the joy that comes from the Lord, living by grace, gives us hope.  We have hope as we look to eternity.  To the day He returns for His bride and we are rejoicing forever.

So, all this being said, I leave you with two songs today. Two favorites that have different flavors to them but both enjoyed today.  Back to back, actually.

Enjoy...