When the Lord's In It...

Scraggly beard.  Sweatpants, blazer, good shoes.  He is beside me, looking at the shelves.  I reach to get butter...

"Would you like me to reach something for you?"

          "Oh no, thank you.  Just looking.  Not even sure..."

"I understand.  They do that, you know, move stuff around to confuse us."

          "Yes"....with a chuckle.

"Have a good day!"

          "At my age, every day is good.  Even better with the Lord in it!"  

"Amen to that!" ...over my shoulder.

I walk away with a smile.  

An early morning Friday visit to the grocery.  Usually, this type of visit has been on Mondays but lately, with the state of our lives, I'm fortunate to make it whenever I can.  What a blessing to be here this day, today.

It's cold.  Rainy.  Damp.
Perfect.
My favorite type of fall day.

Home now.  Unload.
What's this?  My hands are full, shaking, can't get the door open fast enough.  Drop the cargo onto the floor, the eggs weren't in that, were they?  Never mind, this is important.  A letter via UPS.  Oh my, oh my....could it be?!

I tear into it.  Scan the contents....oh yes, oh YES, it IS.  Just what we've been waiting-almost TWO YEARS- to hear about.

It's good.

It's REALLY good.

He's good.

He's REALLY good.

It's even better, yes, BETTER than we ever thought.

Praise You Jesus, we give praise to YOU!

This could have only been accomplished through Him.

It's good, but even better when the Lord's in it. 

The Eating Habits of Locusts

What the locust swarm has left

the great locusts have eaten;

what the great locusts have left

the young locusts have eaten;

what the young locusts have left

other locusts have eaten.

Joel 1:4

Today I sit here filled with regret.  The locusts have eaten my crop and I am wondering what to do with this empty field.

Regret is not the same as simply longing for the years that were, regret desires a different outcome.  Regret wishes to make changes.  Regret wishes it wouldn't have been the way it was.

I wish...I wish...I wish....

At the same time, this feeling of never wanting to return to those years is just as strong.  The past that is behind I don't wish to dwell on.  I remember it well enough to know that God has saved me from it, from the awfulness that was, and I can contrast it to how amazing His grace and redemption are.  I look forward with hope.

And now, I must do the same here.  With this empty field.  With the brokenness that comes from poor choices and consequences that aren't pleasant.

Return to the LORD your God,

for He is gracious and compassionate,

slow to anger and abounding in love,

and He relents from sending calamity.

Joel 1:13b

Many years have passed since I have sown this field.  And yet, I know the harvest is not ready to be reaped.  It's this in-between, the times of drought and beating sun.  What will the harvest yield?

Be glad, O people of Zion,

rejoice in the LORD your God,

for He has given you 

the autumn rains in righteousness.

He sends you abundant showers,

both autumn and spring rains, as before.

The threshing floors will be filled with grain;

the vats will overflow with new wine and oil.

I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten-

the great locust and the young locust,

the other locusts and the locust swarm...

You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, 

and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,

Who has worked wonders for you...

Joel 2:23-26a

My hope is in the Lord.

  

He is with me.

He is mighty to save.

He takes great delight in me.

He will quiet me.

He will rejoice over me with singing. 

I will wait as He brings forth the harvest.

Jesus And My Breaking Heart

Nothing can prepare you for the way your heart feels as it is being broken.  Oh, you can hear descriptive words about it, hear others talk about it, but nothing, nothing is adequate to convey what it is really like until you know it.

I have known this type of heartache before.  Many years ago, as a young mother, my oldest boy was kidnapped from me as a babe.  At the same time, the man I thought I would make a life with, left me pregnant and alone.  In another state.  Not knowing Jesus.  Numb.  I remember stumbling around - literally - while a friend led me around.  I was in a stupor.  Crying at anything.  Not having direction.  Always looking down.  Broken.

I have shut off that ability to feel this deeply.  Ah, now I remember why.  And now I understand why others stay where they are.  Not feeling, walking around numb.  Young in their faith and immature in their trust.  Because the growth doesn't appear to outweigh the pain involved.  You don't realize the goodness on the other side until you are there (no, I'm not there with this one) and so, to step out seems too much.

But this time, there is Jesus.

This time, that makes all the difference.