Jesus And My Breaking Heart

Nothing can prepare you for the way your heart feels as it is being broken.  Oh, you can hear descriptive words about it, hear others talk about it, but nothing, nothing is adequate to convey what it is really like until you know it.

I have known this type of heartache before.  Many years ago, as a young mother, my oldest boy was kidnapped from me as a babe.  At the same time, the man I thought I would make a life with, left me pregnant and alone.  In another state.  Not knowing Jesus.  Numb.  I remember stumbling around - literally - while a friend led me around.  I was in a stupor.  Crying at anything.  Not having direction.  Always looking down.  Broken.

I have shut off that ability to feel this deeply.  Ah, now I remember why.  And now I understand why others stay where they are.  Not feeling, walking around numb.  Young in their faith and immature in their trust.  Because the growth doesn't appear to outweigh the pain involved.  You don't realize the goodness on the other side until you are there (no, I'm not there with this one) and so, to step out seems too much.

But this time, there is Jesus.

This time, that makes all the difference.