A State of Breathlessness

In one of my many conversations with the Lord today, I begged.
I pleaded.
I cried out.
I implored.
I practically demanded.

The breath that my body demands, the breath that refuses to come.  The suffocating feeling.  The gasping.  The body-aching, the chest-clutching need for breath.  Required for life, an absolute must-have.

Just out of reach.  So close, yet so far.

To describe the panic, distress, hunger...the desperate hunger that comes with the inability to attain it is impossible.    It is simply indescribable.

So I cry out.  Beg the Lord to release me.

"I can be more effective in speaking for You, Lord, but I want release from this struggle."

And in the middle of my prayer, before relief comes, He speaks to me, and I hear Him.

It's because of my trust in Him during my struggle, the very knowledge and faith I have that He can release me that is my testimony.  It's because of the struggle I have a story to tell.

In my desperate clutching for breath, I am crying out to Him in every moment.  Relying on Him.  Trusting Him.    My need for Him is revealed in my inability to help myself.

He is gracious to meet that need.

...but I anticipate that the time has not yet come to be released from this particular weakness.

So, while I wait for Him to deliver me, and even if He does not, I will give thanks for being broken.

Thanksgiving always precedes the miracle.

The First...of What I'm Sure Will Be Many

When is something taught?

It is taught when it is learned.

When is something learned?

It is learned when it is lived.

When is something lived?

It is lived when it becomes a part of you.

In short, you won't learn if you don't change.

(courtesy of Prof. Williams-1/11/12)

Rising to the Challenge

Out of my Bible falls a slip of paper.  On it is this question:

What is your personal challenge for the year 2012?

Instead of the normal "resolutions" made by many, discarded shortly thereafter by most, and despised by all, is a question to ponder.

It is far better to rise to a challenge then to fail miserably at keeping a "resolution".  Don't you agree?

I suppose to break it down into something easier for me to understand, I begin with the definitions.

Resolution:
1)  a resolve or determination:  to make a firm resolution to do something.
2)  the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.
(the two definitions that best suit this purpose)

Challenge:
1)  a call or summons to engage in any contest, as of skill, strength, etc.
2)  something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, special effort, etc.

I see a distinct difference.  One I rather much appreciate.

Rather than relying on my own resolve or determination, I am free to answer a call or summons.  One given by the very Giver of life.  One who has the perfect plan, knows my part in it and calls me forth.  One who has designated work for me to engage in and has prepared me for it.

My part is my response.

What choice will I make?  Will I respond to His call?  Step forth, out into the darkness, the unknown and trust Him?  A call to something that will most certainly provide a "battle" of some sort, something that will require a "special effort".

I will.

So how do I answer the question put forth:

What is my personal challenge for the year of 2012?

I will, with the Lord's help, and to fulfill His purpose in my life, depend on Him and rise to the challenge of

worshiping unashamedly...
trusting wholeheartedly...
loving truly...
feeling deeply...

as well as, but not limited to,

spending more time with my First Love...
putting Husband before self...
seeing my children as stewards to be discipled, being willing to teach AND learn the hard lessons...
extending grace to those the world deems undeserving...
being malleable and pliant to the teachings of the Word...
being open to His discipline as He molds me into His likeness...

only to name a few...

These are things to which He specifically calls each of us.  These things are not directed only to me, but to all.

How will you contemplate the coming year?
Will you make resolutions, or rise to the challenge?

Call Upon the Lord

Heavenly Father, we come before You today to ask Your forgiveness and seek Your direction and guidance.

We know Your word says,"Woe to those who call evil good," but that's exactly what we've done.  We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values.

We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth of Your word and called it moral pluralism.

We have worshiped other gods and called it multiculturalism.

We have endorsed perversion and called it an alternative lifestyle.

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.

We have neglected the needy and called it self-preservation.

We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.

We have killed our unborn and called it choice.

We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.

We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self-esteem.

We have abused power and called it political savvy.

We have coveted our neighbors' possessions and called it ambition.

We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression.

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.

Search us, O God, and know our hearts today; try us and see if there be some wicked way in us;  cleanse us from every sin, and set us free.  

(Text of the original prayer delivered January 23, 1996, by Pastor Joe Wright to the Kansas House of Representatives) 

O Lord, the great and awesome God, Who keeps His covenant of love with all who love Him and obey His commands, 

we have sinned and done wrong.  

We have been wicked and have rebelled; 

we have turned away from Your commands and laws.  

We have not listened to Your servants the prophets, who spoke in Your name to our kings, our princes and our fathers, and to all of the people of the land.  

(Text of Daniel, chapter 9:4-6)

We do not make requests of You because we are righteous, but because of Your great mercy.  O Lord, listen!  O Lord, forgive!  O Lord, hear and act!  For Your sake, O my God, do not delay, because Your city and Your people bear Your name.

Daniel 9:18b