The Bridge

I am finding such encouragement from post like this one. 

My wonderful friends don't even realize how I am encouraged and uplifted by their words...even when they are the words of another.

I feel as if I'm in a very dark place right now.  My heart is heavy and the burden seems cumbersome.  I thought I would be writing for reasons other than catharsis.  

I feel as if I am on the side of a great ravine with a swaying bridge that spans the gulf.  Everyone is living life and experiencing joy on the other side.  While I only hear the sound of the wind and the faint tinkling of party noises from the side I stand on.  It's cold here.  It's windy.  It's hollow.  It seems as if others are quite capable of handling their problems well.  And up until just a few days ago, I seemed to be doing so myself.  The trouble was there, I just wasn't "undone" by it.  Now I'm huddled here a lonely, confused, quiet lump.  The tears threatening to swallow me up and drown me.  The confusion only confusing me.  I want to sleep until the storm has passed.  Until the babies are grown and well-adjusted.  Until someone comes and walks me across the bridge.  When I am fit to be part of polite society again.  When the "real" that is me isn't such a downer.  When I don't have any complaints to make.  When I can add to rather than take from.  When the things I am facing have done whatever it is they are going to do and the transition has been made.  

1) Don't turn a deaf ear when I call You, GOD.

If all I get from You is deafening silence,

I'd be better off in the Black Hole.

2) I'm letting You know what I need,

calling out for help

and lifting my arms

toward Your inner sanctum.

Psalm 28 The Message