Saturday, April 16, 2011

Sowing Tears

My grief is not permanent.  I will not live all of the rest of my life feeling as though I am always on the verge of tears.  My soul will not always feel downcast.  My heart will not always feel the intensity of the brokenness.


While I am learning joy amidst the pain, God is glorified.  When I learn to respond despite my feelings, God is glorified.  When I am able to be still and listen, to wait for God, God is glorified.  When He brings me to my knees, weeping, pleading, begging, releasing, He is glorified.


There are many things in my life that are wonderful.  And when I look back at this time, I find it to be most profitable.  This "sorrow" is good to have.  It brings me to Him.  I find my strength in Him.  I learn more about the me He wants me to become.  My hope is increasing, my hurt is teaching.   I find my heart to be more in line with His.  What hurts Him, hurts me.  Grieves me, even.


I can't divulge all that is a trial to me at this time, but suffice it to say that we all have and will experience times in our lives that are difficult.  The details are just the personal aspect.  Just as God communicates with us on a very deep and personal level, our trials will resonate within our hearts at very deep and personal levels as well.  We do find solace in the knowledge that others may have encountered what we are experiencing, and that God has been their Rock and Redeemer.  We rest on His promises that give us hope.  His promises encourage us to press on.


We accept the deep piercings to our hearts and souls of the feelings that wash over us.  We see them for what they are, feelings.  We know that they don't govern what our responses should be.  We face the conflict of how we want to act and how we know God wants us to act.  We don't allow the sufferings to endure without result.  We want the Lord to do His work within us.  We wouldn't want a lesson or a preparation to go unlearned.  We cling to Him with everything that is in us.  Staying close to His side.  Trusting His goodness.


Psalm 126
5) Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
6)  He who goes out weeping carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.

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