Time for Two Thoughts!

It's Tuesday AGAIN!  How can that be?  The weekend simply dashes by without so much as a "hello" any more....

Well, then, on to the thoughts for this day.

1.  I find it quite interesting (annoying, ironic, lame) that I can always think of the most terrifically awesome things to write about while I'm lying in bed but can't think of one stinking thing while I am sitting right here at the computer.  Writer's block?  I don't know that I'd call it that, I'm not a writer!  Sometimes though, my mind feels all jumbled and I can't keep straight all the things I want to remember or say.  Ah well, such is the way it is when you have only so much space in your brain and too many things needing to occupy said space!

2.  I'm listening to the "whir" of our food saver machine as my husband makes his "paleo" packs to prepare for his long, extended days away in the field.  I really don't enjoy this part of his service in the military!  He has been in over 20 years and is a captain, and while I am incredibly proud of him and his commitment and service, it all comes at a price.  But really, when IS the most convenient time for your spouse to be away?  Well, never!  Anyway, soldier on.  :-)

Blessings!!

I've been hesitant to write.  It just doesn't seem like the words coming from this heart are happy or joyful.  I'm constantly wrestling with thoughts that are bleak and despairing intermingled with those of praise for the God who is faithful in not allowing us to be consumed.  It' such a season of dryness.  I'm thankful though, knowing all the while He is at work AND He is growing me.  Bringing up a garden from dry ground. 

With all that in mind....I'll move on to Two Thoughts for a Tuesday!


#1.  I'm ready for fall.  I'm ready for crisp, cool night breezes, apple cider, falling leaves and the anticipation of the Thanksgiving and Christmas season.  If there were a place that was "fall" all season long, I'd TOTALLY live there! 

#2.  I am confident that deliverance in some way, shape, or form is on its way.  That even if I am not delivered in the way I feel is best, God will restore to me a fresh spirit.  He is teaching me to lean.  I am fully aware of my absolute, utter need of Him.  So thankful for the lessons He gives that are taught with love!

Don't forget to mute the player at bottom of blog!

Treading Water

I'm not sure where I am today.  I feel adrift in this huge....vastness?....that is life.  Treading the water that seems unending.  So very tired.  But one thing I know, God is with me here.  I am not alone.  He doesn't do that.  In fact, this is the testing of my faith that strengthens it.  I understand my desperate need of Him.  I am not afraid of this time, although it seems to be so long.

A Day Redeemed

Oh.My.Word.

This Saturday morning sure didn't start out as I would have liked! 
On a day when I planned to make a loaf of beer bread and possibly a cheesecake and eat them entirely on my own and after a week where my frustration was high, I was short-tempered at work, too tired to motivate myself to accomplish anything on my to-do list, the fridge froze over, the air-conditioner was (and still is!) spewing water (happens EVERY stinking spring season GRRRR...), the laundry is piled high, and I was awakened 3 times from sleep earlier than I wanted to be this morning, I made the decision to be grouchy.  :-/  After a nasty fit (Elli's), a soaking as I was cleaning out the air-unit hose, and a silly handwashing with an herbal soap that set off my asthma, I needed a break.

Frankly, I was just being selfish.  I didn't want to be home, alone, without a car, with a screaming 6 year old and a screaming headache on a Saturday.  I wanted to be angry that my life did not look the way I wanted it to look this morning.  Bad call.  But then I made a good choice.

Music is the sweet sound of my life!  If there's anything I love, it's music. 

Elli and I decided we would regroup.  Get some youtube going and listen to some of our favorite songs.

One of them happened to be this one:

~Before you listen, pause the player at the bottom of the blog~

We were getting ourselves ready to do some nails.  You know, some girly things.  As we sat and I was taking off Elli's old polish, she began to chat with me.  She wants to adopt, not one, but FIVE of those sweet little faces from the video!  I think God may be calling her heart to adopt.  Or to be a missionary!  But in some way, to help others.  She also asked me about Jesus.  How can He just touch someone, mom, and then they are healed?" 

What a sweet time of talk. 
What an open door to listen to her heart. 
To even glimpse into the future and realize we won't always have the precious moments of time alone together. 
To rest and know the He is God, He is good, and He wants me to step back and not be hurried or discouraged. 
What a blessing to be a mommy, and especially, to be her mommy. 

What a joy to know that He can take a day that capped off a week that was less than lovely and redeem it.  He puts it into perspective and shines His light through it to reveal it's real purpose.  I'm thankful for His refining that is always done in love, for His purposes and His glory.

I'm so thankful that by looking to Him, He changed our day around.  His word restores hope in my heart, His love welcomes me, His grace accepts my weaknesses and His mercy forgives my ugliness. 

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

Necessary Changes...

Are you willing to make the necessary changes in your life that would align your activities and desires with God's will?

Have you really contemplated what a life "well-lived" looks like and what it takes to get there?

Do you desire more of God and His direction?

Change is something that just doesn't come easily to anyone.  I don't know of anyone who doesn't need some amount, however small, of familiarity and security.   It's a tangible way of feeling as if we have some measure of control over our lives.  

I have been challenged these last many weeks to consider God's plan for my life.  What effect He wants me to have and where.  What His priorities are for my life.  I have listed out an inventory of my time.  Sobering to be sure, but liberating as well.  There are many things that while I thought they were insignificant or even inappropriate ways to spend my time, the Lord encouraged and even blessed! 

I would encourage you to take a good look at where you spend your time.  To the hour.  Lay it before the Lord and let Him prune where He feels necessary.  Let Him speak to your heart about the changes that need to be made.  Where He asks for change, His grace and strength are abundant.  

Only after seeking Him are we able to live, really live, the life He is calling us to.  

Two Thoughts for a Tuesday...

I was having lunch with a special lady friend today.  We were tossing around ideas about blogging.  I am SO new at this thing and she is quite the "old pro" having been at it for over 3 years now...so one of our ideas was this:  A random "Two Thoughts for a Tuesday".

Since today happens to be a Tuesday, let's try this out, shall we?

Random thought number 1. 

I love, love, LOVE being a mom.  Nothing is better!  I have had this calling on my life since I was very little.  I remember the thoughts of wanting to grow up, get married, have babies, and stay at home with them.  The last ten years have been my dream come true.  It is a noble profession, the investment is huge but the payoff is beyond the ability to quantify.  I do not regret one year of being home with my children.  I'm so thankful my husband and I made the decision for me to stay home.  Being a mother to my children is EVERYTHING. 

Random thought number 2: 

What does the LORD require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy 

and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8

Do it anyway

I say: I'm scared; He says: Do it anyway. I say: I might get dirty; He says: Do it anyway. I say: I don't know how; He says: I'll show you. I ask: What do I get out of it? He says: It's for My glory. 

 Today, I will be choosing to do it anyway.

Relating...

I seem to relate so well to David (of Biblical fame!).  I can definitely understand the ups and downs of his emotions.  What a blessing to be able to follow him and his life through Scripture!  One thing I can attest to is that God is never boring.  Never bland.  Never so-so.  I may go through periods where I am, but He never fails to be amazing.


I just finished a book by Gary Thomas (one of my favorite authors!!) called "Thirsting for God".  It is one incredible read!  It is such great encouragement and refreshment for this walk with the Lord that I am on.  I highly recommend it.


Now I am beginning a Beth Moore study that will take me through the summer.  It is her "Breaking Free" study.  I am ambivalent as I have just been wading through a time of intense faith scrutiny and this promises to be every bit as intense.  But I trust the Author, the author, and the ladies who will be joining me in this.


More later on our first lesson but for now, blessings to you! 

It seems like so long, and yet I know it hasn't been!  I've been in my own mind for so many days lately, pretty sure I don't even know where to begin.

It feels like I'm in a resting state except that I feel numb and unmoved by things.  And I am still a bit antsy.  Waiting for that next thing?  Just weary?  Unable to focus?  Not sure what to call it or what this place is...more desert perhaps?  Just the empty kind?

I was considering how just a very few days ago, I was feeling so awful, my heart was hurting deeply and my soul was longing for some relief.  I felt the presence of the Lord so strong near me.  I know He isn't gone now.  I can just no longer rely on how I feel.

Consider our spiritual feelings the way we check the daily weather forecast.  The weather can make our work more pleasant or more difficult, but it should never define our task.  Likewise, feelings may make our spiritual lives easier or harder, but they should never direct our devotion.

We must avoid the trap of equating good worship with good feelings.

                                                                                                               Gary Thomas Thirsting for God


I also find it interesting that at one point I was almost desiring the suffering to this....apathy.  One thing is for sure, the suffering sure kept me close to the Lord.  Now, the part of the lesson that must be learned, to continue to seek Him when I don't feel Him and even when I am weary.


The flux of emotions is continual causing me to learn to navigate them.  They will not cease and they must not dictate who I am and how I respond.  This is where the necessity of habits and rituals are so critically valuable.  When I am constant in my seeking of the Lord, when I continue in His Word and follow after Him, rather than just sit in the middle of the path, I am learning to not rely on only my feelings.  He is so good to allow us the "experience" of His joy and presence but real faith comes in knowing and trusting that He is there even when we don't feel that He is.

What an awesome God we serve!

Sing to the LORD, all the earth;

proclaim His salvation day after day.

Declare His glory among the nations,

His marvelous deeds among all peoples.

For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;

He is to be feared above all gods.

1 Chronicles 16:23-25